Two new haikus

ミシガンに
寒くなってる
初雪だ

大学は
期末試験が
迫り来る


Readings:
mishigan ni
samukunatteru
hatsuyuki da

daigaku wa
kimatsushiken ga
semarikuru


English translations:
In Michigan
It's getting cold
The first snow

College
Has final exams
Looming

The winter ground (a haiku)

安い土

雪に待ってる

暖冬だ

...critiques welcome.

Haikus on learnjapanesepod.com

I often listen to a podcast called learnjapanesepod. It's excellent --highly recommended for anyone studying Japanese as a part of this balanced breakfast, including classes, listening to Japanese music, going to Japan, watching anime, and writing nerdy things in Japanese to your wife on your whiteboard at home.

A couple of haikus that I wrote in the their forums were read "on the air" on their podcast last Friday... I'm excited :) . Btw, the name I used was "jensengo".

Here's the link for that episode: http://learnjapanesepod.com/fun-friday-for-3rd-july-2009/.

Noonday seashore: a Haiku

...and now for something completely differenter. This is my first attempt at a haiku in Japanese. I provided fairly tight English translation which follows the meter.

---

昼の海
うるさい鴎
そよ風と

A noon-day seashore
Annoying, noisy seagull
With a gentle breeze

---

I think it has the greatest effect when you read on line at a time, slowly. I had in mind the shore of Lake Michigan in Saint Joseph, MI, where I grew up. There are lots of happy memories on those beaches. The seagulls can be really annoying, too :) . But please feel free to imagine any shore you like. I think Japanese can probably relate to this, since they are surrounded by ocean.

I used incomplete sentences, both in Japanese and English. I'm not exactly sure how it sounds to a native Japanese (please inform me!). So anyways, that's that. Please let me know what you think of either version! I'd appreciate critiques!